The night I lost it, I didn’t care who it was to or who would get hurt and I most certainly didn’t care if it was to be a one night stand. Almost a year later and I haven’t gotten over how and who it happened with. Long story short, I was dating this guy, not very long but I was almost head over heels, I say almost because I never fully said ‘I love you’, and I always thought there was something missing but that’s another story.
This guy I was dating was lying to me, always taking his problems out on me and stupid me. I always gave him a chance, we’d stop talking, go out and drink and I’d always ignore him until I gave in and was drunk and would sort it out with him. It sounds gutless of me, but that was the only time I wouldn’t chew his head off for the shit he would cause me (I have a pretty bad temper) and drinking took me to a happy place. Anyway, along with the story of how it happened. So eventually I told him this is the last time you hurt me, this is the last time you lie to me. He promised just like every time and before you know it, not even a week later and we were at each others throats. I broke it off with him and lucky me there was a big party going on. I knew the person and because we only live in a small town and went to school together we obviously had lots of mutual friends. In my head I saw this as a very good thing. I could have reconciled with him the night of the party or I could go about my business, get drunk and have a good night with my friends and actually enjoy my night without any worry. I chose the second choice. I did know that I wasn’t over him, I spent the whole weekend bawling my eyes out. It had only been a week and 3 days after the break up and I thought well fuck it, I don’t need you. He so easily made out that I was the bad guy and made up so much bullshit to his friends which made me even angrier so like any bitter ex. I turned cold. By the time this happened, I told myself that whatever happens tonight happens.
So the pre-drinks start and by 9:pm I’m already smashed, a couple mates of mine jump in the taxi with me and we head to the party. we owned the party throughout the night and I start making out with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I knew he was there but I didn’t care. I just walked past him as if we didn’t have any kind of past, as if he didn’t exist and it got to him. He eventually found me and screamed some bullshit at me, but I was too busy with one of his mates. His mate was obviously interested but shit went down at the party and before we knew it everyone was getting kicked out. I started walking home and still drunk I stumble across this ‘mate’ of his. I can’t remember if he was drunk. I knew he had been drinking, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t even tell. Well, one thing led to another and before you know it we were at his house. It was around 4:am and as we got inside. I immediately knew where this was leading. I stripped and he did too. We tried not to make too much noise as his parents were hom,e but thankfully they were dead asleep. We did the usual foreplay and after he went down on me, he went in for the kill. I grasped the sheets in my hand and was in so much pain but too drunk to care. I remember that much, he started to go a little faster and harder, and then we switched positions and before I knew it my knee was all the way up near my head and I was like “what, didn’t even know I was that flexible”?! Time flew by and we grew tired of the bed so we went for round 3 in the shower, it was so uncomfortable being in this little cubicle, after being in there for around 30 minutes it was from being in the shower to the counter to the floor and all the way back into his bed. My friends that I were with earlier in boxed him and asked if I was there with him but I told him not to reply and I’ll tell them later. Well a year later and they still don’t know. It’s one of those things that I’ll never tell anyone, my ex knows about it but doesn’t know if it’s true because I haven’t told anyone. And to me that’s one of my biggest revenges against him. Another is that I slept with his best friend but again, that’s another story. Either way, I will never forgive how low he made me feel in such a short period of time. If you want to play with fire, I hope you know how to control and out-of-control blaze.
- Name: Renee
- Gender: Female
- Age of Virginity Loss: 16
- Current Age: 17
- How would you categorize your story?: Stranger
- Country: Australia