Dec 132015
 

My boyfriend of about 5 months came over the weekend after Halloween and we were in my bed watching movies and such. Things began to get heated and he started fingering me. He transitioned from being next to me, to on top. He then quickly took off my shorts and my underwear and continued. Then he started pulling down his shorts. At this point I just thought he’d stroke down there since he’d done it before. But he placed it like he was gonna enter me and asked me if it was too far. I said yes, so he pulled up his shorts and went back to fingering me. Something happened (I don’t remember) that he wanted a “prize” for. He lowered his shorts again and put it at the lower “hole” asking for anal. I told him that it wasn’t an entrance so he put it back on my vagina and lightly pushed.

He starting saying “just say no” but for some reason I would, I did keep scooting away every time he pushed a little. Then he said just once in and once out, once again I didn’t say anything. With that he pushed inside me and I felt a little pain. This went on for like five minutes until the realization hit me. I wasn’t a virgin. I was fifteen. I felt so ashamed. I stopped and curled into a ball, hiding my face and quietly crying. He cuddled me and asked what was wrong I just said nothing and refused to admit I was crying (though I obviously was). In a way it was against my will, but I didn’t say no so I can’t really claim that I guess.

We’re still dating but I’ve only told two people: my ex boyfriend over text when I was freaking out later that night (he’s practically my best friend) and the school psychologist (that’s a really long story). We’ve had sex two other times which were practically just as brief but at some points I’m still in denial about what I’ve done. As for a little advice, don’t be afraid to say no it’s better than regretting it in the long run.

  • Gender: Female
  • Age of Virginity Loss: 15
  • Current Age: 15
  • How would you categorize your story?: Regret
  • Country: Germany (US Territory)

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