Nov 012015
 

When I was 15, I met a guy who’s way older than me, he was 20. Our relationship was kept as a secret from my mom and all of our friends. He kept talking to me about his previous relationships and they all includes engaging into sexual activities. I said that it was fine for me to have sex and that I’m ready, such an immature thing to say. He said that he understands that I have zero experience in such stuff and that it would be better to start off by making out then escalate to higher levels.

Honestly I wasn’t even ready for making out, I just didn’t want to lose him, especially that he replaced my dad’s figure (since he was older and I’ve never met my dad). We didn’t do anything sexual except making out for almost 2 years. Sometimes he tried to make have sex with him but I refused. And I noticed that he gets really mad and distant if I refuse to make out with him because I’m not in the mood. I started realizing he’s only using me to satisfy his libido and that’s when I broke up with him. It didn’t go in a civilized way as he kept yelling at me and getting to my face. Then I dated another guy, and I found out he was having sex with other girls in the first 3 months of our relationhip. I got really mad honestly. And I went to my ex’s apartment (he was also dating another girl) and I had sex with him.

It was quiet painful and I bleeded a little bit in the beginning. He didn’t start off gently or anything. It was insane and violent. It was like we both lost our minds. It hurt a lot but I didn’t care. All I was thinking about was making my bf jealous and hurt hin like he hurt me. After we finished, he told me not to tell his gf about this and that he enjoyed it a lot. I got dressed and left. Then we did it again a few times more, secretly.

  • Name: Sherihane
  • Gender: Female
  • Age of Virginity Loss: 17
  • Current Age: 17
  • How would you categorize your story?: Secret
  • Country: Lebanon

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