I was thirteen when I went through puberty. It was summer and everyone kept telling me how my hips were getting wider and my chest was filling out, it was not usual for me to notice since I was not entirely ‘there’, I was naïve and never put thought to how I appeared physically. I had also gone to Mexico prior to the losing of my virginity and I had gotten a nice tan, and also lost my baby fat so I was feeling giddy and excited. My sister was seventeen and while I had been gone on vacation she began using drugs to lose weight and to fit in.
When I returned I looked like a woman but I knew nothing about sex, drugs, or partying for that manner. Its safe to say my sister was the same. She had started dating a twenty-four year old douchebag, whom I despised. Yet one particular, and very hot, summer day she invited me to his home and I foolishly accepted. He had a brother who was fifteen. Many of his friends were at the house as a sort of juvenile get together where they passed around pipes of weed and jugs of orange Mad Dog alcohol. I had never seen nor smelt, especially dealt with drugs or alcohol in my life I had no idea what to do. The strangers there were all fucked up and staring at my ass, it was incredibly uncomfortable. Yet for all the chastising and lectures I recieved at school to never touch marijuana, drugs, or alcohol I accepted anyway when they asked if I wanted a hit of their bowl for the immense peer pressure they put on me.
My eyes watered due to the pressure but I blamed it on the smoke. I had no idea how to hold the pipe so Sergio, my sister’s boyfriend’s brother, took a hit and pressed his lips to mine as he blew the smoke down my throat. I had never kissed a boy, nor had I even thought of it or expected it to happen anytime soon. I felt that same giddy feeling rush over me as to when I found out my body was suddenly attractive. He continued over and over to pass his smoke from his lungs to mine through our locked lips. We were in a smokey, shut, dank room that only lit up through the TV and lighters scraping in the dark. Sergio was touching me everywhere and through my high haze I found myself enjoying his attention. Later that night everyone had the munchies so we moved the gang into the kitchen where I enjoyed the best slice of pizza I have ever eaten. It was there that my sister’s boyfriend pulled out the alcohol. My throat was so numb, I was so high that I didnt know my limits.
I drank and drank and drank. Fast forward to even later that night, me passed out on their living room couch. Most of the strangers had left already and I felt bubbly, like floating, but most of all safe that those perverts had left. As I drifted to sleep I suddenly felt someone harshly grab my boob. I awakened, frightened, to find Sergio, red-eyed and crazed. He reached his leg over to the other side of my body and sat on my lap, where he leaned over to sloppily kiss me. The next part of that night was a blur, he forcibly kissed me but to some degree I enjoyed it. As he shoved his tongue down my throat I increasingly began to notice his evergrowing bulge in his shorts. It became unbearable against my stomach.
I had no idea what to do, so from then on I allowed him to do whatever he wanted. To this day I wonder if he knew I was a virgin. He proceeded by pulling off his shirt, to which I did not protest to because he was actually very good looking. I ran my hands up and down his back, loving the feeling of his muscles contracting as he lifted me up from the couch and dropped me again over and over to kiss me. He aggressively removed my shirt and pants. I was scared at this point and I know he saw it, but as he stared into my frightened eyes he pulled down his bottoms and harshly entered me. He grunted loudly with the effort of how small I was and how large his erection was.
He was merciless, he pounded and ravaged my body. I did not scream nor yelp, I endured. It did not hurt but it did not feel good, I kept thinking “this is rape” and “not this way”. I clawed at his back for revenge and when he was done with me he left me bloody and bruised on the couch, naked and exposed. Afterwards I sat there still in the same legs-spread-wide-open position and thought long and hard about how I got there, from the point of when I woke up that morning, still innocent and still a virgin, to this point. Suddenly I was scared he would come back, or my sister who had gone to bed hours before would awaken and find me.
I cleaned myself up and dressed, but I found it extremely painful to stand. I felt scared and sad, I remember going to their kitchen for ice to numb the burning between my legs but found a vodka bottle in the freezer instead. I wrapped my fingers around the neck and quietly and discreetly slipped it into my coat. I was still very drunk and high and so I stupidly left the house and began to walk home, drinking the vodka to keep the physical and emotional pain at bay. When I got home I drew a hot bath and tried to wash away his disgusting touch off of me. Afterwards I found myself kind of in a slut phase, but I do not let what happened that night affect me and I sure as hell don’t let any guy try to put his hands on me again.
(For those of you concerned, he did not use a condom, and I stated I had gone through puberty earlier that summer but I luckily didn’t get pregnant or catch any nasty thing he could have been harboring in his disgusting grip).
- Name: Jenifer
- Gender: Female
- Age of Virginity Loss: 13
- Current Age: 16
- How would you categorize your story?: Against my will