Nov 012015

so there was a guy (couple of years older than me) I use to talk to years ago and we lost touch, he somehow managed to get in touch with me one late night and instantly we decided to meet up. I was going through some pretty tough times and was feeling very venerable and so he asked to pick me up from my house the following morning. we spent hours together and I enjoyed it! it felt like we’d known each other for so long and we’d never been out of touch. he kissed me and I flinched and I had explain why I was so terrified and didn’t want to get into anything serious and just wanted to be friends.. we ended up still kissing though. he took me home later on and messaged me the whole night and stayed on the phone to me all night. he asked to see me the next day and so he came to pick me up. we went back to the same place we did the day before and was talking some more. he told me he really liked me and after yesterday he just remembered how much since he use to like me when we use to talk all them years ago.

I told him I had just come out of a serious relationship not long ago and was not ready for anything to risk getting myself into more heartache. we kissed and so on, he made me feel comfortable. I had no reason to doubt him. he was a lovely guy. he’d call me every night (even when I didn’t want to be on the phone) we’d see each other quite often and he’d pick me up and we’d have an amazing time together! we started getting really passionate to a point we was both really heated up, he’d get me to sit on top of him and slowly grind and he’d do the same motion back. one day he bought me over to a hotel room and I told him I couldn’t stay long and he told me nothing was going to happen, I had nothing to worry about. we had dry sex (motion of thrusting with clothing on) and not long later I had to leave. soon he started showing possessive behavior where he’d be all kind and loving and then instantly snap making me so scared of him and when he’d realised I was scared he’d apologise immediately. he did this a lot, he got angry so quickly over small things, over silly things.

he was paranoid I was talking to other boys or that another guy would snatch me away from him and he’d lose me again. I reassured him that would not happen but he didn’t seem too certain. when I hung out with him he was amazing id love every minute of it but as soon as I got home and I wasn’t there in front of him he’d act strange with the sudden outbursts of anger or constantly needing to be on the phone to me and being so paranoid. eventually I thought it’d be best if I took myself out of that situation and stopped talking to him. few months later he wanted to see me and I thought it wouldn’t be so bad since I felt I had control over the situation and we enjoy spending time together. he seem to really want to see me and I knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me as he seem to be so protective.

I went over to his house that day and we just got talking and to be totally honest I missed his company! he gave me a kiss and took me into his room and lay me on his bed. we were there for a while and he asked me to get comfortable so he took off my shoes and my jacket and then asked me to take off my jeans as they were pretty tight. he reassured me that we wont be having sex, especially since he had no condoms and so I did. he held me tight just stroking my hair and my legs and then pulled me in for a kiss. we was passionate. we kissed for a long while and we had dry sex. he slipped his trousers off and I just thought it was for a closer feel. he put his hands on my panties and slid a finger in and I remember word for word him saying “OMG you’re so wet!” and instantly pulled off my pants and went down there and worked his tongue on me.

at first I pushed him and tried closing my legs, but i gave in, it felt good and so i let him. i had my eyes shut the whole way through and then opening them again as i suddenly felt him get back on top, i hadn’t realised while he was down on me he took his boxers off too. so i looked at his and he started kissing me and suddenly i felt him enter me and i gasped in pain. i asked him right away “what are you doing!? you need to get up” and he smiled and said it was okay .. i told him it was hurting me a lot and so he slowed down a little but almost instantly sped up again. i cried a little hoping he hadn’t noticed. minutes just felt like hours and every time i asked him to stop he told me it was okay. he looked right at me and whispers i looked sexy when enjoying it and then told me to make sure i take the morning after pill. i wanted to get up and leave! how could i do this without making such a scene and causing drama.. he was a big guy on top of me thinking i liked every moment. need i mention there was a dog (which im absolutely terrified of) sitting right outside his room door.

so i held tight, shut my eyes and let him finish off as he manhandled me around. and then he ejaculated inside of me not giving the slightest bit of care that i was not on any type of contraception. he got up and threw over a roll of tissue and told me to clean up and quickly get dressed because someone was coming over and so i did just that without saying a word. he pointed out to me i was bleeding and i told him it was my first time. i quickly left his house crying on the phone to a friend for two hours and then for the next 3 weeks, i changed my phone number a few days after and haven’t been in touch with him since then. My word of advice, things happen even if you’re not planning for them to; so don’t get yourself alone with a guy thinking you wont have sex. even if you’ve both discussed it wont happen.

sometimes a feeling can be so strong over a guy he may not always be able to control it and keep up to a promise. so that’s the story of how i lost my virginity.

  • Gender: Female
  • Age of Virginity Loss: 17
  • Current Age: 18
  • How would you categorize your story?: Against my will
  • Country: UK



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