I noticed that our connection was intense, and so strong. After meeting him and continuing to talk to him and get to know him. I’ve never felt like doing things with any man except for him. He was my first for many things. We went on a date traded his best friend’s truck we drove off to Alum Rock in San Jose. We walked and talked about many things. Then sex came up, he felt guilty and I said I knew that I wanted him.
So we drove on a hill deep into the woods where no one was only the road, the trees and the hills. It was cold and we laid the sleeping bag on the back of the truck. He was very excited I was in a mix of emotions, all I knew is that I was ready. He began fingering me and I would moan, but it took us a very long time to loosen me up because I am very tight, and it was difficult since it was dark. Well, after frustration and wanting to have sex, I looked up to the night sky seeing his figure over me, the cold breeze on us. He finally was able to stay hard and push slightly into me. I was taken off guard and felt the pain slightly pulled back. He grabbed me and said its going to hurt but so tenderly holding me he went into me. He was very big so the pain was horrible. I was grasping and not sure if I wanted to continue but closing my eyes and mumbling the pain went away within seconds.
I remember saying “okay, okay,okay, stop and panting, then quickly saying ohh that feels good don’t stop” I cannot explain what happen but the way he thrust into me with passion, tenderness, and gentleness the pain went away. I was in so much pain that I suppose my vagina numbed itself. I would feel him then I wouldn’t. But I remember feeling so good and then some discomfort and pain. I remember that we both communicated and talked during the whole time, changing positions, testing each others bodies. It hurt but we took many breaks when it began to hurt again.
I was as daring as even trying to let him thrust me hard which felt amazing. Throughout the night we kissed, hugged, and touched. I am not a very touchy person so doing all those things under a sky full of stars, I felt in heaven and weird. It was very beautiful with him. It hurt like hell. But I am happy I had it the way I wanted it. It was natural not forced. Just in the moment and I do not regret a single moment with him. Even though our relationship has failed. I can look back and remember I had the best first time. The next times were not as painful, they got better each time, I had to get used to his size and it would hurt but longer into everything it became wonderful. I was always so scared to lose my virginity because I thought it would change me as a person.
But the truth is sex is just sex. Its not a big deal. Your virginity is not something you lose (only in special cases) but when it is by choice you gain much. I did not turn into super woman. I was still the same cute girl, but just with a new experience.
Age of Virginity Loss: 19
Current Age: 20
How would you categorize your story?: Perfect